You Don’t Have to Believe Everything You Think

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how often we hold ourselves back without even realizing it. Whether it’s trying to grow in our careers, start something new, or build a habit we know would help us… sometimes the biggest obstacle isn’t a lack of strategy or skill.

It’s the voice in our head telling us we can’t.

And that voice has a name: the inner critic.

It’s that brutal internal voice that berates us, discourages us, tells us we’re not worthy, compares us to others, and in general subjects us to all sorts of internal emotional abuse.

And if you’ve ever taken a moment to really listen to your inner dialogue, you might be surprised by how unkind it can be. 

We say things to ourselves we’d never dream of saying to a friend, a colleague, our partner, or our kids.

The thing is, our inner critic didn’t just appear out of nowhere. Like most of our internal processing, it’s based on old programs and messages we learned as children.

In fact, your inner critic probably sounds a lot like someone you grew up around. 

That parent, teacher, sibling, or caregiver who expected too much, criticized too harshly, or just didn’t give you the emotional support you needed.

Even though these programs were put into place decades ago—and are based on assumptions that simply aren’t true—they still shape how we see ourselves today.

And they show up in the stories we tell ourselves. Stories like:

• 'You should know this already'

• 'You’re not doing enough'

• 'You sounded so stupid in that meeting'

• 'You’ll never be as good as her'

The inner critic doesn’t just hurt us—it limits us. It can hold us back from speaking up, asking for more, taking risks, or even resting.

And not only does it keep us emotionally stuck, it often gets projected outward. We become overly critical of others—or we assume they're judging us.

When you’re operating through the lens of your inner critic, it’s easy to assume the worst: that people are out to get you, or that things just won’t work out because you’re not good enough, smart enough, qualified enough. And that lens becomes a filter for your entire life.

But here’s a reframe for you:

You don’t have to kill your inner critic. You just have to stop believing everything it says.

That voice might never go away entirely—but you can stop giving it the mic. You can learn to question it, interrupt it, and replace it with something more supportive.

Here’s how to start:

• Notice when it shows up. Awareness is the first step. Start observing that voice without judgment. Just notice: “Oh, that’s the critic again.”

• Name it. Give your inner critic a persona—something that separates it from you.

• Challenge it. Ask yourself: Is this actually true? What would I say to a friend in this situation?

• Replace it. Choose a more empowering thought, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. Try: 'I’m learning,' or 'I’m allowed to take up space,' or 'I don’t need to earn rest'.

  
  

Doing this inner work consistently can really make a difference in how you feel about yourself—not because you’re trying to become someone else, but because you’re finally unlearning the false narratives that have been running your life.

Your inner critic isn't the truth. It’s just an old voice. And you don’t have to listen anymore!

If you'd like to take the next step in rewriting your inner critic, download my free worksheet that will help you transform your inner critic to your inner coach.